It's been over a year since my last post but I never forgot how to find my way back to this place. I think it was little too early in my journey to try to pour out everything into my blog. What I did post before was helpful and meaningful, but was also painful. Not only at the time it was written but when re-reading it after posting and every time I logged back in to post again.
As the saying goes time heals all wounds. Not that I'm healed yet but after more than a year later enough healing has occurred that makes me willing to give this another go. I look forward to being able to use this as a way to put my feelings into words. Not only as a method to heal but to document thoughts, feelings, experiences that I will be able to share with my girls. Sometimes I fear the thought of having to have tough conversations with them about what happened and how I feel about it, but by thinking and writing about it I think I'm better prepared for those conversations. By taking time to write I force myself to think of the words I want to use to describe events, thoughts, feelings, etc. It's almost like a dress rehearsal for future conversations so I don't end up feeling so dumb struck and tongue tied.
I'm hoping to post at least once a month and for special events. I'll start by adding some previous facebook posts from the past year to help fill in some of the missing time.
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I'm glad you are back Lance. I hope you do give it a try. What a gift to give to your girls when they are older...memories of this time in your lives together and insight into what you were feeling at the time. Go Dad!
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