Friday, August 5, 2011

Friends in deed

In the initial weeks and months after Rochelle's passing life was quite a roller coaster emotionally. During this time I had several major eye-opening realizations. First and foremost was the immense and overwhelming sense of loss and confusion when trying to make it through the day. Every day was a challenge going from one task to another and realizing she was no longer here, it was just me and the girls. But the silver lining in the early days was the warm embrace of the friends in the local community. Friends and acquaintances that Rochelle had made during the 3 years we had lived in Camino.

Friends that brought meals, friends that hosted the girls for play dates, friends that helped clean the house, friends that helped sort through belongings for donation, friends that helped gather pictures and stories for the memorial service and the girls memory boxes. One friend in particular had her hand in all of the above and gave above and beyond. Annette, I will never be able to repay the debt for all that you did for my family, but I will try. Thank you for being a friend.

Friends made this time bearable when all I wanted to do was dig a hole and hide. It was Annette that also got me in contact with Snowline Hospice. They have what I found out first hand is an outstanding children's grief counseling program. During the school year the girls were able to attend the group counseling sessions every two weeks. They enjoyed the peer/group counseling meetings and the play therapy.

The girls were making progress while I was struggling through various anti-depressant medications. Some worked, some didn't. Overall they worked once the prescription and dosage was adjusted several times. However, the end result was that I didn't feel like myself anymore and too separated from my emotions. So much so that I didn't feel I was progressing in my grieving process, I felt stuck. I finally decided to stop taking the medications after about a year. I then had to deal with mood swings, but at least I didn't feel like I as living in a fog or walking around half awake.